What to Say to a Suicidal Teenager

If you suspect that your teen is considering suicide or mentions wanting to die or wishing they were dead, encourage them to talk to you about their distress immediately. Take it seriously and don’t dismiss it as acting out, looking for attention, or teenage drama. Contrary to popular belief, talking about suicide does not plant suicidal ideas in their heads.

In fact, addressing the topic head-on can do the very opposite by helping your teen to know what to do if they have suicidal thoughts or behaviours. It can help them identify a problem and know how to ask for help.

These strategies can help your teen start talking:

• Ask your teen to share whether a specific incident led to suicidal thoughts. Ask a question such as, “What happened? I want to know more, it might help to talk about it.”
• Don’t invalidate your teen’s feelings. Avoid saying things that may be perceived as empty or unhelpful such as, “You should appreciate all you have in life,” or “I think you’re overreacting.” Those reactions downplay your teen’s pain.
• Encourage your teen to describe what they’re feeling. Say something like, “I had no idea things were so bad for you, talk to me about what’s going on.”
• Show acceptance. Listen without verbalising judgment or disagreeing with their statements or feelings.
• Ask if your teen has a specific plan for suicide. The more specific the plan, the higher the risk.

After gaining a better understanding, it’s important to offer your teen emotional support. Use the suggestions that best fit you, your teen, and the situation:

• Be specific and direct. As compassionately as possible say to your teen,
• “I do not want you to hurt yourself and I will do everything possible to keep you from committing suicide.”
• Explain that you understand your teen feels miserable. Say something like, “It sounds like you’ve given up” or “I think you feel there’s no way out.”
• Gently point out that suicide is not a solution. Try saying something such as, “I know there are options that could help, I’d like you to at least try them.”
• Let your teen know you are worried. Don’t downplay your concern about their well-being.
• Promise to be there for your teen. Do whatever it takes to get them through this. Provide reassurance by saying something like, “You are not alone. I am here to help you now that I understand how bad things really are for you.”
• Remind your teen of your unconditional love. Now is the time to show how much you care.
• A teen who is talking about suicide could be in immediate danger to themself. Take your teen’s comments seriously. There are a few things you can do to make safety a top priority.
  • Remove dangers: First, remove all dangerous implements or substances from the immediate area.
  • Stay with your teen: Make sure your child is not left alone during this crisis.
  • Seek help: Once the immediate danger has been addressed, get ongoing help for your child. 

Therapy can treat and address underlying mental health issues and is crucial to alleviating your teen’s distress. Getting your teen help with such issues is an important part of suicide prevention.

Get Help

Other young people may prefer to seek more professional support or call a helpline such as Childline, Samaritans, Shout, or Papyrus Hopeline. Some young people may be finding it difficult to cope and may think of ending their life, if you are concerned about a young person’s mental health and wellbeing and feel they may be in distress, their Doctor should be their first point of contact. If you feel the young person’s life is in immediate danger please call 999 for assistance.